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How a Hand Towel Taught Me About Patience in My Blended Family
It starts with being patient with yourself. You have to forgive yourself for not being an amazing parent right off the bat. You weren’t given months to prepare for this role. You weren’t gifted with advice from friends and relatives. You weren’t blessed with the connection of housing the child in your womb, giving birth, and bonding during the beginning when these babies were fully dependent. You have learned to love them. You have watched them grow. You have adjusted to becoming a stepparent. You are doing your best.
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Being a Childless Stepmom
I’m here to tell you that I understand your sadness and your frustration. I know how it feels to go through these trials. I know how much your heart aches when you miss your stepkids. I know how hurt you are when you feel like a fraud in the motherhood department. I know that whether you’re childless due to circumstance, choice, or medical reasons that we are all feeling that hurt. We all just want to be taken seriously, and we want a little sympathy for our pain.
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Why Stepmom Self-care is so Important
No-one benefits from you taking on the weight of the world. I repeat - No-one is benefiting for you putting everyone’s emotions on your shoulders. It will do nothing but stress you out. You are being more selfish by stressing yourself out with all of this unnecessary emotional baggage than anything. I know that when I am stressed my energy in my whole household changes. Not for the good either. When I have taken on too much, when I have assumed the role of emotional bodyguard for my family, it takes a toll on all of us.
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When the Kids Won’t Stop Talking About Their Other House
So try and listen with a kind heart. Even when it’s the 37th time that morning they’ve brought it up. Be understanding when they keep bringing up their other family. Be interested when they tell you their stories. Don’t take it personally when they compare you. Just love them and do your best to support them.
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Why I Don’t Deal with the Ex-Wife
There is not a law written somewhere that says stepmoms must be friends with the bio-moms. And for some reason whenever there isn’t a solid relationship between stepmoms and bio-moms there is some negativity from outside observers. But this isn’t always the case! It doesn’t have to be a bad thing that you don’t have a friendship with the ex wife.
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A Hungry Kid, a Potato, and a Microwave : How These Things Made Me Stop Questioning My Role in My Blended Family
Someone’s hateful comment hurt your feelings, your dinner didn’t turn out great, you were late to dance practice, you didn’t switch the laundry over before the mildew set in, or you literally caught a baked potato on fire. All in all, it’s not that bad. Those moments don’t define you. Those moments don’t make you any less of a wonderful stepmom. You are an amazing attribute to your blended family. They all appreciate and love you for the important role you play in your family, and you do a darn good job! Don’t be so hard on yourself.
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Why a Support System is Vital for a Stepmom
The best way is to find other stepmoms you can connect with in real life. Other people who get your struggle. These ladies know what you’re going through because they’ve been there too. They understand where you’re coming from because they are in the trenches too. They understand your heartaches, they understand your dramas, and they may have some advice from their own experiences.
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Tips for Adjusting to Your Seasonal Empty Nest
Stepmama, you got this. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to suck. But eventually, it does get better. You get back into the routine of life without them there. Just hang in there. Love your family, love yourself, and live your happiest life.
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Let Go of the Second Wife Insecurities
The fact that I didn’t get to be his first marriage, that he has already had a first dance and a first kiss, and he already has two kids that he got to watch learn to walk and speak. This has nothing on the fact that I get to grow old with him. I get to hold his hand for the rest of our lives and kiss him whenever I want. We get to watch those two kids continue growing and learning, and maybe have an “ours baby” one day.
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Using Care Packages to Stay Connected in a Long Distance Blended Family
The kids absolutely LOVE getting mail anyway, and the fact that it’s a little gift from us makes it that much better. We typically get to video chat with them while they open them, which is so heartwarming to see their little faces light up with excitement to see what’s inside. I mean what is more precious than watching the joy on a little ones face when they are opening a present??
