Being a stepmom can feel so lonely.
You can feel like you are so deep in your blended family stressors and no-one understands.
You try to keep it to yourself.
You want to be positive.
You don’t want to complain.
You don’t want to come across as the evil stepmom.
You try to tell yourself it’s not a big deal.
But this will only make it worse.
It will boil under the surface until it bubbles up and explodes.
And trust me, the explosions are not good…
You end up hysterically ugly crying over a burnt baked potato at the dinner table.
(oh, that’s just me?)
Anyway, my point is that you need to have someone to talk to.
You need to get those problems out there. You need to get that negativity out so that its not just festering.
I am a big fan of a good vent session.
I definitely think that a good vent sess can do wonders for your attitude and situation.
It can help you get all the negative energy out, without doing any harm in the actual situation.
Perfect for our role as stepmamas.
Letting you release the negativity and bad energy, without stirring up anymore more shhhh in your blended family.
You’ve got to make sure you’re doing it right though.
I’ve found that the best way is to find other stepmoms you can connect with in real life.
Other people who get your struggle.
These ladies know what you’re going through because they’ve been there too.
They understand where you’re coming from because they are in the trenches too. They understand your heartaches, they understand your dramas, and they may have some advice from their own experiences.
So you can grab a margarita and vent over cheese dip about your latest blended family saga.
(if you’re from a small town like me, maybe make it an in house girls night.)
If you are having trouble finding some local like-minded stepmamas then log onto your favorite social media and do a little searching. There are some positive, inspiring stepmoms on Instagram, some great advice on Pinterest, and some pretty good groups on Facebook. (just make sure the Facebook groups aren’t all negative. I have found some good groups, but in my experience, most of them have been all about bashing and not being proactive.) Also, blogs are a great place to find some connection! (hint, hint*)
Tip from experience :
Do not over-vent to your SO.
They will start to feel like your personal punching bag, and that’s not fair.
I mean every now and then is fine, but make sure you have other people to talk to so you don’t wear your SO out with complaints they are already living with.
I am definitely guilty of this.
Poor Dan once told me he felt like he was living in Groundhog’s Day. He was having to live the experience firsthand and then continue reliving it through my vent sessions.
A little harsh, but hey, I get it!
My thought process was just that Dan is my best friend and he is in this mess with me so who better to talk to? I didn’t stop to think what it was doing to his sanity. He hung in there better/longer than I would have. lol
So, I decided to find some other stepmamas who would be able to empathize a little better.
So go find you some stepmama friends, real life or cyber friends, and go get that shhh of your chest! It’ll get rid of all that pent up negativity, and your SO will be glad not to hear it for once. Lol
Love your family, love your family, and live your happiest life.